The Plan(?)

So I haven't anything as far as a general update on life in awhile. Yesterday was the final day of classes and now we start finals week. It has been a fun semester. Except chemistry. That is a course I love to hate right now. One of the classes that just doesn't get along well with my brain. But I'm making it through. I find it fascinating. When I understand it. Emphasis on when I understand it. Unfortunately that doesn't happen as often as I would like it too.

It's going to be a very busy next few semesters. You see, this semester ends and then we leave for a trip with my family to California as soon as finals are over. We come back and the day after we get home summer semester starts. And I'm doing a full load this summer. Then summer semester ends. We are going to a friend's cabin for a week with a few of my good friends. Well we will go straight from that trip and meet Kelsey's family for a weekend camping trip. Then we come home and the next day Fall semester starts. So things will be busy, but I also think very fun. I have a few classes I'm really looking forward to each semester (as well as a few I'm not). And they all play perfectly into the plan.

The plan you see is to graduate with an Honors degree in Exercise and Sport Science. And I found out I'm getting a minor in psychology this week too. For a long time I had given up on the honors program here at the U, but I have had a few professors over the past couple semesters really pushing me to do it. So I'm getting starting on my honors thesis started over the summer and I'm really looking forward to it because it will be a chance to do some research related to sport psychology and physical therapy, which is perfect. You will, once I graduate I want to get a Master's degree in sport psychology and once I have my Master's then I will apply to Physical Therapy programs. After completing PT school, they have residency programs that are optional, but I would like to complete a sport physical therapy residency. The dream would be to one day work with professional athletes--meaning soccer players in England. But to clarify, I would be extremely happy working as a normal physical therapist with everyone and anyone.

There is a kink, however, in my grand plan. I've mentioned before that one of the professions I was considering was teaching. Well every now and then it still is. Seminary teaching to be exact. The thought of being a teacher excites me. I think about the people who most influenced my life and they are my teachers. I would love to have that same influence on others, to inspire them and help them realize their own potential.

But it would involve giving up a lot of other dreams. Like working with professional soccer players. Further study in the field of medicine. I love learning how the human body works. I love the way that that understanding of how the body functions can change someone's life for the better. I love the feeling of expertise that comes from understanding the subject and using that knowledge to benefit others. But I love studying the gospel. I love how it can change someone's life in a much more meaningful way. And I love to teach. I know it would be easy to say combine teaching with anatomy. But it just isn't appealing. It compromises some of the things I enjoy about each on its own. So its the dilemma that I'm faced with.

So for now, I stick to the plan. I have two years to go before the final decision has to be made. First I have to graduate so for now that is the focus and we will see where life takes us from there. Lucky for me I have an incredibly supportive wife who just wants me to be happy and do what I love.

Sorting Too Soon

I don't know that many people know this about me, but I'm a bit of a Harry Potter nerd. I remember when the first book came out my parents gave it to me for Christmas. None of us really knew what it was because it was brand new, but my parents had heard it was a good book for kids and gave it to me. I was instantly hooked on the series. This was before the craze, before the movies, before anyone knew about the series. I have read the books multiple times and my birthday present to myself one year while on the mission was to buy the entire Harry Potter series in Portuguese. In our small apartment most of the books I own are in boxes; Harry Potter, however, is out on the book shelf.

It usually takes me about a week and a half to read the series, maybe two full weeks. Back in February Kelsey wanted to read the books because she had never read the full series and wanted to see how the books compared to the movies because she had only read the books once. Once she started reading I couldn't keep myself from reading them too.

Reading this time around, there was a line that especially stood out to me. It's not one I never noticed before, but one that caused me stop and think about it more than it usual does. I'm sure most have either read the books or seen the movie and the plot line is no secret to you, but in case you haven't I'll be vague about the scenario. At one point in the series Dumbledore says," You know, I sometimes think we Sort too soon...."

Now I know the logical progression from this thought is to apply it in terms of not judging others. But a different quote came to mind in conjunction with Dumbledore's. In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie quotes the following from an article titled Bits and Pieces:

Distrust you first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best.

It's true though, isn't it? When affronted by an unpleasant situation what is our first reaction? Does it ever bring out the best in us?

Unfortunately we live in a world that has taught us there is no consequence tied to acting on our first reaction. Disagree? Go read the comment board on virtually any news article. Or someone's ranting Facebook post. Or the innocent post that generated hundreds of comments, most of which include people arguing, simply trying to assert their dominance and by so doing find a sense of pride and self-satisfaction. Often that first reaction is to build ourselves up by tearing someone else down. And social media gives a platform for doing so without accruing much personal risk.

You can post anonymously. Or you can post with your name. Doesn't matter. When you post, you post to a world full of people you don't know nor interact with. What does it matter if you offend, hurt, or tear down another with your words? There exists a disconnect between what you say and the repercussions. And with this disconnect, you can experience your instantaneous gratification--your tiny ego boost--without feeling you have done any damage.

And then later you realize what you did wrong. You delete your comments. But the damage has already been done. Or someone calls you out for what you said. So you become more defensive, more certain that what you said was right. You argue your point with more vigor. And so does the other person. And the vicious cycle becomes more vicious. That first instinctive impression becomes more and more instinctive, more primitive, more intent on wounding others than resolving problems.

I made the mistake in high school and its one of the moments I regret most. I posted on a blog we had created for discussing school topics. There were comments made about a certain student group. While comments were made in good fun, they were also negative. I made a comment using some language that was intended as a joke because it was quite often used jokingly at the time. After having posted, I realized it probably wasn't the best idea to use some of the words I had: even if they were often used jokingly, they could be offensive. I considered deleting the post and reentered the discussion board to do just that. But then I saw the strong reactions others had towards my comments and some of the comments of others similar to mine. And I became very defensive. I stood up for myself and tried to justify what I had said. I did a complete 180 from wanting to delete the post to wanting to defend it. And I defended myself and what I said, as did the others who felt attacked by the new comments posted. The blog was soon deleted in its entirety.

But even after my comments were deleted, my feelings of shame and guilt couldn't be. I had friends who were members of that particular group. While I didn't feel the things I said applied to them, I imagined how they would feel if they knew what I had said. How could I justify my comments to them? And I thought of the members of the group that my comments could apply to. Even if it was true (and I don't know its fair to say they were), did it really merit our calling attention to? Did they deserved to be attacked? I don't think they did. Like I said, its one of the moments I regret most.

To me this issue extends well beyond the realms of social media. Social media simply opened the door. It taught us the habit that we can and should say whatever we think or feel. It has taught us to remove all filters. And while people may initially develop the habit while roaming the world wide web, I think it soon spills over into everyday life. And we see the effects it has every night on the news.

So learn a lesson from my mistake, from someone who walked that road if only once. Don't trust your first instinctive impression. Remember that sometimes we, like Hogwarts, sort too soon.

So don't sort too soon.